so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
