doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
