Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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