So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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