she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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