OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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