Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
