I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
