Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
