yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
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