she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
