She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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