when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
