dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
