Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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