just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
