i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Randomize
