Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
