fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
