Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize