Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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