i don't plan on having that self control this summer
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
