am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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