I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
