i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
