Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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