Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
