Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
