So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize