There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This is the high leading the old right now
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
