Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
