He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
