Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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