Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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