i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
