hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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