why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
pop tarts are not kleenex
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
