I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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