i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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