This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
