Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
