U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Don't make out with my wife yet
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
