ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
