A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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