Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
