Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
