It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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