But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
