At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize