before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
