if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
