I think my fart just growled at me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
