if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
