Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
