Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
