OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
