the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
