yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
