There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
