Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
