I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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