she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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