And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
