Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You took a bar mat shot.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
