dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
