I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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