I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have fence marks all over my body
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
