i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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