yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
