Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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