You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize